Recovery Journey: Fitness

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My recovery journey: Fitness

When I was in the Army, I took my job seriously and I observed and learned from whom I considered to be the better leaders I had access to. One of them probably counseled me in writing on their expectations that I maintain my health; physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.  I liked that, so I stole it and started counseling my own Soldiers on my expectations of the same. Like most leaders, I thought I was leading by example. No doubt I was in good physical condition as sports and fitness had a been part of my life since childhood and I realized the mind – body – spirit connection as a young adult. However, my hypocrisy, even to myself, was astonishing.  I portrayed this fitness guru but in the latter years of my drinking career I threw my health out of the window while still holding onto the illusion I was physically fit. I would get up in the morning and go to the gym, hungover and shaking, reeking of booze.  I would go for runs and my heart rate would spike extremely high; I am surprised I didn’t have a heart attack.  I was weak and broken, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

When I entered this last rehab, I was 15 pounds under my average healthy weight.  As the weeks of my treatment progressed, I started to heal mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.  As my body recovered from the years of poisoning it with alcohol and at the ripe age of 42, I decided to work towards getting back into the best shape I could be in.  I started a physical training regime that complemented my other sober routines. I got back into running six times a week and lifting weights five times a week.  I became more attuned to my mind-body-spirit connection as each component strengthened.  I continued my routines through four months in sober living and continue my routines back out in the wild today. Being sober has propelled my body into great shape.  I run stronger and realize better results in the gym despite my age and a laundry list of injuries.  Something though starkly differs from my physical training before I was sober. I work out now with intention. I realize that I sit on top of the stool supported by the legs of mind, body, and spirit. On any given day, one may be weaker than the other but as long as I stick to my routines, I do not topple over.  While I still have the character defect of vanity, I try to focus on the sense of satisfaction, accomplishment, and peace I get after after a hard run or a solid session of lifting iron. My fitness routine clears my mind and invigorates my spirit. It is a fundamental part of my sobriety.

Fitness is vital and sometimes I think about the amount of famous and amateur athletes who became sober and then became even better athletes or got sober and became better people.  I personally think that their journey through addiction and achieving long-term sobriety played an important role in their success. Here are just a few to perhaps inspire you: Brett Favre, Joe Namath, Darryl Strawberry, Charlie Engle, Ronaldo Christiano, and Andre Agassi.

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Picture of Ryan "Slo"
Ryan "Slo"
Ryan grew up across the United States and lived in Korea, Jordan, and Germany as an Army brat. He served in the Army from 2003 to 2022 as a combat engineer and then in SOF Civil Affairs, deploying to combat six times in support of the global war on terror. Ryan has a B.A. in International Relations and a M.S. in Information Operations and Political Warfare. Ryan, like many veterans suffers from PTSD and TBI and is currently in recovery. He is married and has two children and one step child. When not running or paddle boarding with his battle buddy service dog Simon, Ryan can be found in any body of water attempting catch even the smallest of waves or in the kitchen making something delicious for his family and friends.

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