07SEP24

My recovery journey: Fitness

When I was in the Army, I took my job seriously and I observed and learned from whom I considered to be the better leaders I had access to. One of them probably counseled me in writing on their expectations that I maintain my health; physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.  I liked that, so I stole it and started counseling my own Soldiers on my expectations of the same. Like most leaders, I thought I was leading by example. No doubt I was in good physical condition as sports and fitness had a been part of my life since childhood and I realized the mind – body – spirit connection as a young adult. However, my hypocrisy, even to myself, was astonishing.  I portrayed this fitness guru but in the latter years of my drinking career I threw my health out of the window while still holding onto the illusion I was physically fit. I would get up in the morning and go to the gym, hungover and shaking, reeking of booze.  I would go for runs and my heart rate would spike extremely high; I am surprised I didn’t have a heart attack.  I was weak and broken, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

When I entered this last rehab, I was 15 pounds under my average healthy weight.  As the weeks of my treatment progressed, I started to heal mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.  As my body recovered from the years of poisoning it with alcohol and at the ripe age of 42, I decided to work towards getting back into the best shape I could be in.  I started a physical training regime that complemented my other sober routines. I got back into running six times a week and lifting weights five times a week.  I became more attuned to my mind-body-spirit connection as each component strengthened.  I continued my routines through four months in sober living and continue my routines back out in the wild today. Being sober has propelled my body into great shape.  I run stronger and realize better results in the gym despite my age and a laundry list of injuries.  Something though starkly differs from my physical training before I was sober. I work out now with intention. I realize that I sit on top of the stool supported by the legs of mind, body, and spirit. On any given day, one may be weaker than the other but as long as I stick to my routines, I do not topple over.  While I still have the character defect of vanity, I try to focus on the sense of satisfaction, accomplishment, and peace I get after after a hard run or a solid session of lifting iron. My fitness routine clears my mind and invigorates my spirit. It is a fundamental part of my sobriety.

Fitness is vital and sometimes I think about the amount of famous and amateur athletes who became sober and then became even better athletes or got sober and became better people.  I personally think that their journey through addiction and achieving long-term sobriety played an important role in their success. Here are just a few to perhaps inspire you: Brett Favre, Joe Namath, Darryl Strawberry, Charlie Engle, Ronaldo Christiano, and Andre Agassi.